我真的越来越不懂我自己。

Sometimes I feel myself very stressful...

曾经记得朋友和我说过，不要太依赖世界上的任何一个人，因为你不懂他们几时离开你身边。如果他们真的离开了，那你自己又能承受得住吗？

Really a best sentence for me. I very dependent on my beloved friends now, especially Suprinda. No matter what, I believe her in every situation, and I want her happy all the way. So I did not regret for my action of forgiving Kam Jia Yi. =D Because I know well, I like Aarun now. ^^

But I did not trust her. The one who act and sound similar to the one that betrayed me last time.Sorry to say that I did not trust you now, because from your every action and respond, you will do the way she did to me last time to me now. Exactly. Feel sorry to say that now..From now on, I only will ask you anything about studies to you. Only in academic. Nothing at all. I will treat you as my friend. Only friend. 

Sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO GET HURT ANYMORE. I REALLY TREAT YOU AS MY BEST FRIEND NOW, BUT YOU REALLY VERY SIMILAR TO THE OLD ONE......

I VERY VERY VERY STRESSED NOW...Is it i should not like him anymore...

别人看不懂、猜不透的泪水

假装说没事，假装多好...

好久没在这里倾诉了，生活实在太忙、太不可思议了。

我外婆在10月26日离开了人世，从此告别了我、我父母、还有这个世界所有的东西。太意想不到的事往往让人不知所措，但这句话对我视乎并不正确。我其实并没有哭得死去活来或者什么的，只是在仪式里偷偷流了几滴泪。是我冷血吗？还是我只是并没有和外婆有多深的感情。也许吧。

我听过，我们生活上其实不应该太依赖任何一个人，因为你永远不知道他什么时候会离开你。其实没错吧。背叛，令我下辈子永远带着戒心去了解她人，因为担心历史重演，担心下一秒所有事情都变了。现在我觉得有这个想法一点都没有坏处，反而让我对生活的改变有了心理准备，让我比任何人都更有想法。我只可以说声对不起，因为我不想再次受伤。有时我宁愿离开的是我，因为我不想看到，不想看到令我心里不舒服的人，还有种种一切。

这些人情世故，早就该在我们的脑海里定了个模子，让我们都知道这些都是可能发生的事。我讨厌我拥有很准确的感觉，因为这种感觉往往令我哭得像个泪人一样，但只能默默地哭泣。这是什么烂东西，为什么我要自己独自哭泣，我不明白，我到底是不是不该喜欢上人。